


Shattered Surface

by masterofstars



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comfort, Dissociation, Fluff, Gen, M/M, also theres not really any real implications of a relationship between them yet, but for now its complete, might continue this at some point in a collection of short stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 03:24:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5114195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterofstars/pseuds/masterofstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time it happened was when Dirk first transferred him over from the shades. It wasn’t gentle nor pleasant and of course it came without warning. He could have sworn it was a malfunction. Maybe some kind of error in the way Dirk had coded the body or compatibility issues between his programming and the programming for the metal contraption he felt so hellishly trapped in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1;2

The first time it happened was when Dirk first transferred him over from the shades. It wasn’t gentle nor pleasant and of course it came without warning. He could have sworn it was a malfunction. Maybe some kind of error in the way Dirk had coded the body or compatibility issues between his programming and the programming for the metal contraption he felt so hellishly trapped in.

It was supposed to be an easy process. The body had been worked on for months and every possible problem with it had been worked out and triple checked. It was tested numerous times manually. Synthetic skin stretched over an exoskeleton of steel alloy. Thin but durable, holding each mechanism needed to keep it running. Lungs were replaced by fans, stomach filled not with organs but with circuit boards, and a heart that pumped coolant through his veins instead of blood. Really, it was a work of beauty. Every aspect was up to date and comparable to the newest in technology. Equipped with state of the art sensors and skin that could have been silicone but instead felt real to the touch and covered wired muscle that he knew must have cost a fortune. It was something he knew Dirk was proud of, based on all the hours spent in his room assembling and testing and retesting, usually without break until he got the component he was working on finished and in working order.

They were both excited. That much was obvious. After being stuck in a pair of glasses how could he not be head over heels at the idea of having a physical form that he could control and feel with and live in. It was impossible, that much was clear. No one could have settled him on the day that Dirk finally gave him the message. A very subtle, very lack luster ‘It’s ready.’ in that yellow-orange text he’d once thrown around too. Shit. This was happening.

It looked absolutely perfect through Dirk’s webcam, even if the quality was shitty and didn’t do it justice in the slightest it was fucking beautiful. And it was his. It was terrible having to deal with the time Dirk spent with the shades hooked up to his laptop through one cord and the body (his body) hooked up by another. It felt like a millennium before Dirk finally booted up the software and sat back to let it run it’s course.

It wasn’t half bad at first. Like a usual shut down for maintenance that Dirk always insisted on. Quick nothingness that lasted hardly a few minutes to him. He honestly didn’t know how long it usually actually took, but he never cared to ask. It was always worth it.

But when his processor started back up it was worlds of different. It was a slow unwinding, like a ball of yarn rolling down stairs. Okay at first. His systems booted up and the usual screens came up in his subconscious. Showing he was online, setting up preferences and all that great jazz. Then of course the new panels. Ones he didn’t quite understand at first glance but upon further exploration noted as sensory and functionality control panels. It was so new and thrilling and exhilarating in a way he hadn’t known he was able to feel before then. And then a light lit up red. Then a row of red lights, all labeled differently. Different parts of him. He could see them all; eyes, ears, soundboard, fan1, fan2, s1, s2, and so on and so forth. It was almost too much to take in. He could hardly believe that this was him. Every bit of it was him and he was going to feel it all soon. See it from eyes that were his alone, not connected by bluetooth from Dirk’s laptop.

He was almost tempted to open up pesterchum and tell Dirk to pause. Put it on hold to give him a moment.

And then the first light turned green.


	2. 2;2

Immediately he could feel it. Something he couldn’t name because he’d never felt anything like it before. Something blurred behind all the windows on his screen; a whirlwind of colors that he couldn’t comprehend past it all. Pushing everything aside helped a bit, but it was still mostly dark. 

A harsh static filled his headspace and a new light flickered to green. Ears. 

“There we go. Try and open your eyes, idiot.” It was Dirk’s voice, but at the same time it wasn’t. There was no slight alteration through speakers. No microphone static to get in the way. It was all Dirk, completely clear and free of anything else. It was incredible.

Enough to shock him into opening his eyes and jesus christ. He just did that. That was him. He controlled that and now everything was so crystal clear it almost hurt. The blonde spark of hair in front of him was like looking at a hi-def movie. Each strand of hair actually able to be seen. No pixels. No lag. Not even a slight shift in how it should look. Fuck.

“Huh. Good job.” Dirk looked at him- at his face, before turning back to his laptop screen again. Probably monitoring it all.

Hal took the time to shift his eyes to the side. Then the other side. And up and down and adjecent and everywhere and anywhere that he was allowed at the moment. It wasn’t too hard. Think where he wanted to look at he could do it. Easy. Could do it with his eyes closed. And did in fact. In fact he probably looked fucking ridiculous with how much he was blinking, but he couldn’t care less. For a second he wondered if he could cry because he sure as hell felt like he should be, or would be if that was something he could do. But apparently not, since from what he could see and feel nothing was happening that felt like it would be tears. Guess robots didn’t have tears.

“I’m gonna try and take this slow but it doesn’t really work all that slowly. It’s designed to come on all at once then balance out. Shouldn’t be too bad though.” God, he talked a lot. Did he always talk that much? Just get on with it. 

He heard the sound of the keyboard for a few seconds and then a definite mouse click, confirmed when he looked over and Dirk was just leaning back, hands pulling away from the laptop.

It took a few more seconds before anything happened but when it did, it wasn’t at all like the skip from nothingness to something-ness he’d expected. It hit him like a freight train. Everything all at once lit up green to the side of his eyes, something like a wave of sensation (or what he guessed to be sensation) washed over him and then he was gone. And then he wished it was nothingness. If he had to guess he’d say it was pain but it felt too unreal to be anything of the sort. It was a feeling of being there and not. He could still see everything just fine, if a little blurred around the edges, but he couldn’t move. It felt like he should be able to. The lights were there. Green and mocking him with it- they were on. He knew it. They were working. Why weren’t they working?  
Dirk was saying something, he could see his mouth moving and fuck. Dirk looked panicked. Years of seeing the same face and it became pretty clear. To someone else it might look like the usual blank expression but Hal could see it. The slightest change to how his mouth curved, the tiniest scrunch of skin between his eyebrows. He started talking again and Hal could hear it but he couldn’t make it out. And it was terrifying. He knew he was supposed to hear it. He was hearing just fine before and he was supposed to be able to but it was all just nonsense. Not exactly slurred, not even really that indistinguishable. But fuck if he could understand. It wouldn’t process, nothing would. 

More green lights flickered on and he could see Dirk’s eyes lock onto him. He couldn’t make out where but definitely his direction. His ears picked up on a noise- not from Dirk. Too raw and far too unrestrained. His noise. Something between a cry and a choked sob. A noise he hadn't chose to make but came out anyway.

And suddenly he was babbling, begging. Turn it off- stop it- end it. Anything to stop him from feeling so trapped. Dirk tried to tell him something about over sensitization, but only a few words managed to get through the haze and it only made more words come out of Hal's mouth. More desperation. He had been past caring about how it sounded. Maybe if he could have moved he would have pulled his arms up over his ears, make it stop so he didn't have to hear himself but that was the problem that wouldn’t stop.

He started wishing to black out. Could an android black out? Maybe short fuse. But everything had been working, so it was out of the question.

Dirk was telling him to calm down. 

That didn’t make sense. What did that have to do with any of this? What would calming down do? It needed to be fixed, not calmed down. He was sure he said that too, but Dirk hadn't listened.

Then he was right in front of Hal now, gaze locked with him and lips moving. They had moved slow, the words strict.

“Calm-.... You’re doing this-.... -have to stop.”

And then his hands were on Hal. On his face. Holding it. He had seen the panel say so, and- a faint spark of something erupted up. The sound of his own voice had left then, Dirk’s too. Everything had been quiet as the feeling resonated in him. The firm press of each of Dirk’s fingers, splayed out on his cheeks. He could have pinpointed each one. The warmth of Dirk’s palms, the calloused texture on his own smooth flesh.

“Dirk.” It’s a choked out syllable but it was from his own thought process and his lips had moved on his accord. It had tingled like hell but it was worth it for the way Dirk’s hold eased up into something gentler on his face.

“You’re fine. Stay with me, you’re still here. Right here.” And as Dirk’s fingers had tapped on his skin, sending jolts of sensation through him, Hal had believed it.


End file.
